The harder it is for women to succeed in the outside world, the more men need to support them at home.
Shortly after we got married nearly 17 years ago, my wife Sarah and I decided to share the responsibilities of our brand new family. Yours really happily took charge of the kitchen. However, it was quite unusual for me to do so in the patriarchal society of my beloved country Pakistan. It was customary for men and women to be born with certain inalienable roles and responsibilities inside and outside the home. Anyone who dares to exceed these limits may face dire consequences. So you can guess the controversy surrounding our decision naturally.
After all, I was an officer in the Pakistani army – commander of an outpost with my big men in our big boots and even bigger machismo. Still, I would painstakingly mix onion, ginger, and garam masala at home in aalo gosht, daal, or our family’s favorite chicken biryani.
man in the kitchen philosophy
The role of women in human society has undergone a serious transformation in the last 100 years, especially thanks to the technological advances made during this period. Industrialization, mechanization, and computerization have eliminated the need for muscle strength in most workplaces, neutralizing the only perceptible legitimate cause of male supremacy. Modern-day occupations now require education, training, and experience, regardless of the hormones secreted by one’s gonads.
Many nations quickly adapted to this change and drew their women to the side of men. This change not only effectively expanded the workforce, it also increased productivity many times over. Unfortunately, some cultures continue to lag behind in their decisions to take full advantage of this golden human resource. A large proportion of the female population still faces significant barriers to professional development due to age-old traditions, beliefs and taboos.
Today’s professional world is tough – fierce competition, grueling hours and risky investments are prerequisites for meaningful success. As we know, most women entering the professional world face more challenges than their male counterparts. When you add cultural constraints on top of everything else, a woman’s chances of success are dramatically reduced. After all, who wants to get into a tough fistfight with one arm tied behind his back? This is an unfair battle, and so many women in such confining environments find solace within the confines of their traditional domestic roles by working hours with utensils rather than joining the workforce. This is an enormous waste of talent.
My implied solution to this problem is simple. The harder it is for women to succeed in the outside world, the more men need to support them at home.
UN Millennium Summit
On September 8, 2000, representatives from 192 countries gathered at New York’s sprawling 57-story United Nations Headquarters. It was the finale of many conferences held for several years to discuss the world’s major problems and prepare it for the new century. After years of analysis, debate, and debate, the world’s best minds have finally identified eight critical areas that can change the world. The UN then set eight goals for the beginning of the next century and called them the Millennium Development Goals, or the Millennium Development Goals for short.
Interestingly, four of these eight Millennium Development Goals were directly or indirectly related to women. Goal 3, “Promoting gender equality and empowering women” and 5, “Improving maternal health”, were all focused on women. Goal 2, “Providing universal primary education” and Goal 4, “Reducing child mortality” also highlight women.
The Millennium Summit was the first concrete realization by the world that the main road to the development of a nation was through its female population.
Let’s discuss the various ways in which women’s empowerment plays a vital role in well-being from the household to the national level.
Economy is important
It’s a no brainer that two professionals in one household have more than one chance of bringing in more money. However, the economic benefits far exceed the financial advantages. By consuming shared resources such as housing, kitchens, cars and children’s expenses, two professionals can save serious money. If all or most of the population is made up of dual professional households, a nation has the potential to significantly increase its productivity without a significant increase in expenditure.
Still not convinced? Let’s talk about the real power of women.
The real power of women
The real power of women is hidden in the concept of motherhood. Let me explain. It goes without saying that in all higher species, not just in Homo sapiens, children receive much more influence from their mothers than from their fathers. I would argue that mothers experienced with the challenges of real-world experiences would be in a much better position to prepare the next generation for future challenges than mothers with little or no exposure to such experiences. I’ll expand this a little more.
Modern professional fields are constantly and rapidly developing. To survive and thrive in such an environment, one needs consistent personal and professional growth. Interpersonal skills, critical thinking, tech savvy, and updated knowledge of emerging related realms are just a few of these skills. Above all, certain risks must be taken, which may or may not bring results. The more progressive a person is, the greater the trials and tribulations he has to endure. Such experiences make them more aware of the current and future challenges of the world.
What if such a progressive and conscious person is also a mother? Let’s say he’s a 24/7 mentor to his kids? What if there was a whole nation raised by a generation of mothers like that? Studies have shown that empowered women improve their children’s adult outcomes and have better cognitive and non-cognitive skills.
Gender equality versus equality
Let’s get into some related linguistics – the difference between gender equality and equality.
A picture is worth a thousand words, and below are two.
In simpler terms, equality is a higher form of equality. However, a more comprehensive explanation from George Washington University (GWU) is given below:
“Equality means giving the same resources or opportunities to each individual or group of people. Equality recognizes that each person has different circumstances and fully allocates the resources and opportunities needed to achieve an equal outcome.
I disagree with the respected GWU on gender equality. Women need neither extra resources nor additional opportunities; All they need is not to be disturbed. Every major problem for a working woman, from s*xual discrimination to harassment to blatant violence, comes primarily from people who are not women.
Mature societies have alleviated many of the above problems by taking appropriate action. Strict government regulations, special statutes of organizations, and appropriate education in schools all play an important role in promoting gender equality. However, the cornerstone of nurturing support can and should take place in the comfort of homes – this will ultimately create an atmosphere conducive to women working shoulder to shoulder with men.
After nearly 17 years and her two daughters, my wife Sarah has grown from a full-time traditional housewife in a small town in Pakistan to a senior physician in a major hospital system in the United States. He also has a great interest in the stock market. Its smart trading regularly contributes to our savings. Our girls are his biggest obsession. Spending three to four quality hours managing their education and extracurricular activities is part of their daily routine. Both girls have extremely high ambitions, thanks to the living example before them. On the other hand, Sarah’s social work is always going on. It all started with her not being stuck in the kitchen.
As for me, I still cook and learned a lot of local and exotic dishes. Despite my busy professional routine as a research director at a multinational organization, I love to prepare healthy meals every day for my family, especially for two future empowered, professional women.
The world is changing at a dizzying pace and is only accelerating. While we all love our traditions and cultures, anything that disrupts our ability to adapt to the modern world must go. Families, communities and nations that prohibit women from being empowered to their full potential are continually marginalized. We already see this happening and feel its impact, but its pace will be devastating in the future.